I have been back from Romania for just under a month now. I have been wanting to update our blog to reflect my experience, but have started teaching a summer English course and making adjustments to wedding plans so things have been a bit busy lately.
My trip to Romania was an amazingly humbling experience! Our Children to Love (CTL) team spent a full week working in Romanian orphanages and running a youth camp from the Bucharest ministry center (where we stayed). We also spent time getting to know the Romanian CTL staff members through musical worship, daily briefings, and other fellowship opportunities. The team also became very familiar with the city streets and public transportation in Bucharest as we walked and rode metros/buses everywhere we went. We attempted to submerse ourselves in the culture and began to understand the ways of life in Romania.
Our mornings were dedicated to visiting orphanages! That was a wonderful time for all of us. Our first day, we had no idea what to expect. It was a bit intimidating showing up to an orphanage for the first time. Almost immediately the children began to hold our hands, hug us and were speaking so fast and passionately, you knew they didn't even care that we could not understand them. Our initial nerves and fear of the unknown were washed away and replaced with joy, peace, and love. We were there to love on the children, however, I believe God led us there to be loved on as well! It is so humbling to see how much love these little children, who have no parents, no toys, nothing, can show to a complete stranger. It is amazing what we (you and I, the privileged) sometimes take advantage of! ....We continued our day with superhero costumes, dodgeball games, tug-o-war, a giant parachute, and two skits. I fell in love with a little 13 year old girl named Carmen on this day! As the day drew to an end I was beginning to feel heavy hearted as I was sure I would never see her again! As we were giving out candy and saying our goodbyes, Carmen disappeared into the orphanage and I was tearing up for fear that I couldn't tell her that Jesus loved her and so did I. We began to walk away from the orphanage, out the gates, and I turn around to see her running towards our team. It turned out that she had been chosen to participate in our youth activities every afternoon for the entire week! I was elated. God is good! I immediately grabbed her hand and we walked and rode the metro/bus together all the way back to the ministry center. I was so thankful that I would have the opportunity to learn about her and share my heart and love for Jesus with her all week.
The afternoon youth program was great! The girls and boys were split up. The boys spent their time doing sports camp and devotions all afternoon, while the girls stayed cool in the ministry center doing crafts, and learning about God's love. I was responsible for leading a devotion with the girls and through prompting from the CTL staff and God, I changed my lesson last minute and did a lesson for the girls on prayer. It was a very rewarding time for me.
As the week wore on, seeing Carmen every afternoon was the highlight of my day. She was with me during small group time as well. After feeling discouraged about her knowledge of Christ, I went to her mentor (CTL Staff member) and asked what her story was so I could understand her better.
Carmen's story: While most kids in the Heart-to-Heart mentoring program have been with their mentors for several months, Carmen had just been assigned to a lovely woman, Denisa, only a week prior. Carmen had never worked with Denisa formally and didn't know many of the other girls that attended the program, yet many of the other girls already knew each other. Additionally, many of the girls were fairly solid Christians, and Carmen had barely started learning about God. Having never had any formal teachings about Jesus Christ, it was obvious why an entire week of constant bible lessons was very overwhelming for her and very hard for her to understand. She seemed very distant during some lessons, and so overwhelmed tears came to her eyes. Throughout the week, I grew to love her even more. Her innocent and loving heart needed some tender love. I prayed that she would grow to understand and see God's love. Yet, was worried as she never bowed her head and closed her eyes during prayer, and never really participated during small group discussions unless a question was directed towards her intentionally. However, by the end of the week, on the last day, for the first time, Carmen bowed her head, closed her eyes, and folded her hands to pray. It was an awesome moment for me. On that same day I gave Carmen my silver ring that I had worn all week on my ring finger as a momento of KJ and my engagement (I couldn't take my diamond engagement ring with me). It was really hard to let go of it because of what it represented and what it meant to me, but I felt God really encouraging me to give it to her. I was really hesitant and scared to give it away, but remembered that I had a conversation with KJ the night before I left that once I returned I would never wear the silver ring again, as I would put my engagement ring back on and wear it everyday along with my wedding band once we were married. So I gave the ring to Carmen after-all. The only finger it ended up fitting on was her ring finger as well. It was such a blessing and confirmation that the ring should belong to Carmen so she could always remember me. I made a promise to God that every time I was missing my ring or looked down at my finger and it was gone, I would pray for Carmen... and I did, and still do.
Other than growing my relationship with Carmen, my relationship with God also grew throughout my time in Romania. I often felt that the purpose for me being in Romania was entirely different then it was for most others on the team. I was in constant prayer for certain illnesses I was dealing with and also for the Lord to really work on my heart. As the week went on, God started revealing things to me that have changed me completely.
For one, God really has started preparing my heart and mind for my marriage to KJ. I feel the Lord was really showing me the transition that I would be going through as I will be moving on from my single lifestyle to my married lifestyle. He began to work on my heart and show me through scripture and other things that my role as a wife will be very different, yet rewarding. I began to really understand that some things that I value in my life now, may change as my role in my marriage changes, and I felt at peace and even began to get excited about the changes that will be taking place.
In addition, KJ and I have talked about adopting a child after we have a couple of our own. However, I always said that I could only adopt an infant because I would be able to feel like it was more my own than someone else's, and the bonding experience would be better, etc. I quickly began to realize that all children, no matter what age, need love and want to give love. My views on adoption have changed. I feel the Lord wanted to show me how much love I could have for a child that I hadn't known as an infant through letting me get to know Carmen. What an amazing experience!
Thank you to all of you who have supported God's work! As you have read, so many lives have been changed through this trip!
